Different people feel loved in different ways.
Most people think that the way they receive love is the same way their partner will, which might not always be the case. For instance, It’s like and Afrikaans person trying to speak to a Venda person and vice versa. Because they don’t speak the same language they will most likely misinterpret what the other one is trying to communicate.
Generally, people receive and express(show) love differently that is why there are love language categories. If you want to understand your partner or potential partner it’s good to know your and their receiving and expressing love language.
So here are the 5 Love Languages:
Acts of Service
Quality time
Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Allow me to further elaborate.
Acts of Service – If your heart melts when your partner simply does choirs (e.g. taking out the trash, washing the dishes, fixing things, cooking, etc.) or when they ease your responsibilities from time to time ( e.g. picking upon the kids from school, paying bills, etc.) or through acts of chivalry ( opening doors, carrying bags, etc). Basically, making sure that you are taken care of then this is your primary receiving love language. Broken commitments and laziness can make this type feel unloved, not cared for and unappreciated.
Quality time – Do you value full and undivided attention above everything else? One on one time with the TV off, doing activities together no cellphones, no friends, no signal. If this is your partner’s love language (or yours) cancelling or postponing dates or failing to listen will be hurtful to this person. Always set time aside for them and stick to it, it will make them feel loved, special and that they are a priority.
Receiving Gifts – No that doesn’t make you nor your partner a gold-digger or materialistic, if you are the type that loves receiving gifts. To this person gifts doesn’t always have to cost a lot of money. Study what they like, put effort and thought into the gift they will feel loved, cared for and appreciated. So from handmade gifts to their favourite chocolate or get them something that they’ve already planned on getting themselves. Pay close attention to what they like or want and surprise them with it, it will spark the love. They utterly and completely appreciate and look forward to receiving gifts on birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s days, etc. so don’t forget.
Physical Touch – This refers to non-sexual touch. For this person receiving or giving hugs, cuddling, holding hands or even their partner’s presence is important. Some people might just have this as a receiving language and not necessarily as a giving love language so a partner who loves giving physical-touch would be ideal for this receiving partner. Kisses on the forehead, arm, leg, I don’t know, things like that, brushing gently over their hair, always wanting to hold on to any body part of them will make them feel loved. Neglecting to do so might make them start to question your love for them.
Words of Affirmation – Do you like hearing I love you or being showered with compliments or meaningful declarations like, “you’re my piesangpit”, my always and forever, my skat/treasure? If you discover that this is your partner’s love language and that words mean a lot to them, make sure to give them genuine compliments, and let them know verbally that you appreciate them, care and love them.
These love languages are across-the-board and apply to any type of relationship.
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